Koneko Kissaten
by Reillusioned
Summary: Across the Sea v. 2.0 Group of kids in their late teens working in a cafe. Not too out of place, right? Until you find out that most of them are demons or immortals. Includes mostly HE chars and random AU others
1. Peaches or Nuts?

**Name:** Across the Sea (Version 2.0!)

**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R in later chapters

**Warning: **Full series spoilers, OOCness, Rampant fancharacters, Shonen-ai and possible lemon in later chapters. Swearing, too! So much fun!

**Taikoubou **

Well, the first thing you should know is that when Fukki is around, things are pretty chaotic. Not outside him, though that is also true, I mean inside him. We've got an alien ancestor, a deranged youkai and in my personal opinion THE coolest doushi that ever existed. Occasionally we get along and become kind of one entity, but most of the time it's the real Fukki in control of the body with Outenkun and me playing shoulder angel/devil. And we disagree on a lot of things. We can't even decide what to have for a snack. ("Peaches!" "Nuts!" "Peaches!" "Nuts!") So it's pretty much constant squabbling in Fukki-san's head. After two thousand, five hundred years three months two weeks three days four hours and thirteen minutes, most people will have a tendency to go insane.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP!"

Weshut up for a minute.

"I am SICK and TIRED of you two bickering! Get out of my head! You two are going to SPLIT and if you even THINK about fusing again in the next TWO HUNDRED YEARS I will personally destroy all that is good in your after lives! Actually, make that FOUR hundred years! Now GET OUT!"

An angry alien ancestor isn't something you really want to deal with, so Outenkun and I split. I think Fukki needed some time without us in his head for a while. He was most likely planning to wander the earth in soul form for a while, enjoying the blissful silence in his head. But that's just my opinion.

Outenkun gave me a look that said 'I hate you. A lot.' And said "This is all your fault, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

HA! Did you really think I'd say that? No, it really just kind of degenerated into hurling insults at each other for a while, then we went our separate ways. I think Outenkun was a bit mad because- and this is just my guess- being fused keeps him sane. I could be wrong here.

)-(

"Taikoubou, go get that damn oyaku don from Reiki!"

"Fine fine."

Reiki is the only one of us that can cook for his life. Hell, his food is delicious! Sadly, he refuses to admit this unless you really flatter him. This is why the job of waiter or waitress is not highly sought in the Koneko Kissaten. And I always seem to lose when we pick in the morning.

I stuck my head in the kitchen. "Reiki, there's two orders of Oyaku Don that should have been out there five minutes ago."

Reiki was, as usual, bustling around doing what he loves. "On the counter to your right." "Great." I grabbed the plates and headed back into the main part of the airy restaurant. Kuniko, our 'employer' threw two sodas at me. I don't have great hand-eye coordination.

"Ah!"

Luckily, Talis does.

"Nice diving catch."

"I've got to take time off flirting now and then to save your ass, don't I?" The orange-haired kitsune went off to 'rescue' Jahiro from a few loyal fangirls. "Kami, those things are here almost every day!" Jahiro was a hanyou kitsune whose father owned the same palace Reiki had to work at. Both were there unwillingly.

See, after Outenkun and I, uh, decided to take a break from each other, I somehow ended up running across the ocean so as not to incur the wrath of Youzen. I looked it up on a map one day, humans now call it the East China Sea.Before I made it over, I met a young noble girl named Maku who had run away from home. She bought me dumplings! We wound up at a palace where she knew somebody. Some brother's friend's father's niece's old boyfriend's daughter. Or something like that. Turns out she and her brother had been sold by their uncle into slavery at Tori no Shiro, a castle owned by Futtota. I shudder just thinking of him.

That was where we met Talis, Jahiro, Jahiro, Reiki and his sister Aiko.

From there, we ended up waiting until Futtota and his other son Seiji (who was Jahiro's half brother and a full kitsune) left on business and looted the place, not to mention setting what was left of the servants free. It wasn't exactly a nice place. Some of it doubled as a sort of brothel, which is where we met Jahiro. Don't mention it to him, I think he's blocked out the memories.

We finally sold the loot in a small town, where we met another hanyou and a few of his friends. His name was InuYasha.

Hehe.

Anyways, we hadn't planned on staying long, but the next day a certain blue haired 'genius doushi' showed up on our doorstep. Kami, I've never heard anybody yell so loud. I bet they could have heard him back in Chouka! I spent the next half hour or so running for my life through the woods. Don't people say absence makes the heart grow fonder? I think in this case, absence made the heart really, really pissed. Finally I pushed him into a well, but the young miko of the village got really pissed at me too. Turns out the well was a portal into another world. Well, not another one, per say. Just this one five hundred years in the future. "So THAT'S why I didn't see him at the bottom. I thought he'd just put on so much weight while I was gone he had sunk into the ground." So the entire group volunteered to come help us find him again. It probably helped that Seiji had put bounties on most of our heads. I don't mean he put bounties on most of our actual heads, I mean he put bounties on the heads of most of us.

So we wandered around the Japan that existed five hundred years (or so, I suppose...) in the future without anywhere to go. Finally we found an old boarded up building in the suburbs on the edge of a park. Let me tell you, it takes a LONG time to get from downtown Tokyo to the suburbs. We snuck in and slept on the third story, but in the morning a woman with magenta hair kicked most of us asleep. Turns out she bought the old building and was turning it into a restaurant. She introduced herself as Kuniko Hayasaki and offered to put us up for boarding on the top floors if we worked for her. She couldn't pay us a lot, but beggars can't be choosers. The conversation went something like this.

"So what are your names?"

"Taikoubou."

"You have a last name?"

"Uh…. Kyoshika?"

"And you?"

"Talis."

"Last name?"

"…..Kitsunekage?"

"And you?"

"Aiko."

"Last name?"

"….."

"Do ANY of you have a real last name?"

"………………………."

She then proceeded to bang her head against the wall, but hired us anyway. It didn't take long to realize that Reiki was the only one who could cook really well. I mean, I can cook pretty well, and so can Maku and Talis, but I'm a doushi and Maku spits in the food of anyone she doesn't like. Talis would rather be flirting with the customers to get free drinks. As for the rest, well, Jahiro nearly cuts his hand off with anything other than a butter knife, and Aiko eats everything as soon as she makes it. I think they starved her in that palace.

There's been a lot to keep us busy since then. We finally found Youzen and had him working in the kitchen, we met a girl we suspect is InuYasha's descendant (though the only ones with really good noses are Aiko and Reiki, and they won't tell us who the other ancestor is), found a monument to a friend who died before we came to the 'present', and met the reincarnations of Talis, Seiji and Futtota. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I haven't even mentioned Ryugumo or Atsuko yet, have I? Then there was that time we got kidnapped by the government! That was fun…

)-(

Author's Notes:

(Description of Fukki) This is how I picture Fukki. Really.

(Koneko Kissaten) Koneko Kissaten translates loosely into Kitten Café. They usually just call it The Kissaten.

(Oyaku Don) Oyaku Don is this wonderful Japanese comfort food which basically consists of rice, mirin sauce, vegetables, egg and chicken, but you can substitute it in pretty much any way you could think of. Since there's both chicken and egg in it the name means 'Mother and child'.

(Laughing at InuYasha's name) InuYasha translates directly as 'Dog Female Demon' Since InuYasha is male, Taikoubou is amused by this.

(Taikoubou can't cook) Doushi are vegetarians, so if Taikoubou was cooking and somebody ordered anything with meat in it he wouldn't be able to make it.

(Youzen can cook, but Suusuu can't?) Taikoubou doesn't cook well enough to have a speciality, but Youzen cooks almost as well as Reiki so they have him do most of the vegetarian stuff.


	2. Shallow? Who says I'm shallow?

**Name:** Across the Sea (Version 2.0!)

**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R in later chapters

**Warning: **Full series spoilers, OOCness, Rampant fancharacters, Shonen-ai and possible lemon in later chapters. Swearing, too! So much fun! Wait a sec… NO LEMON! HEAR ME JJ? NOOOOO LEEEMOOOON!

**Review replies:**

**DayDreamer- **Yes, Raishinshi will probably show up later, if only to be made fun of by Shiro. And Nataku…. Well, I don't know about Nataku. Maybe.

**RyuNoTaiyou- **I already said the lemon thing was a typo, JJ.

**Percy-chan- **It's weird, but I checked the original on my computer and the mistakes aren't there. ((Note: in the first chapter there was a space missing between we and shut near the beginning and Jahiro was mentioned twice.))

**Talis **

I can understand why you'd want to get the story from me. After all, I am the coolest, sexiest-

What do you MEAN you talked to Taikoubou already? How the hell does HE get priority? HEY! Get back here!

Well, I lived in China when I was really young, but eventually was sent over to Japan. I worked in a bathhouse in my early teens, but I was fired after nearly bashing in the skull of a customer who though bathhouse worker equals groping. But not before I met Sesshomaru-sama! Oh my kami, he was a babe. I remembered that I had really distant relations in a nearby palace. Some mother's friend's cousin's daughter named Aiko. I think. But when I got to the palace they told me they had sold her and her brother to Tori no Shiro, so with nothing else to do I made my way over there. Imagine my total surprise when they were working as servants. And this place was full of hotties! Although the owner, Futtota, was this fat, perverted bastard, his son Seiji was a hot perverted bastard! Plus Aiko's brother Reiki was pretty smexy, not to mention Jahiro-chan.

I remember the first night I got there. I stumbled into the gardens through the rain and literally ran into Aiko, even if I didn't know it was her at the time. She led me inside where I first met Futtota (gag) and Seiji (swoon).

It wasn't just hot guys either. The cutest thing I have ever met, Jiho, was a young rabbit youkai who worked in the gardens.

So I promised to help break them all out of there, but a few days after I showed up a Chinese girl called Maku appeared on the doorstep, and in her wake came the epitome of all stupidness, a doushi called Taikoubou. I knew the name because a few distant ancestors of mine had been youkai sennin, but from what I heard they were horrible people - er, youkai - so I didn't hold it against the poor boy. Come to think of it, who in China hadn't heard the name? But that had happened centuries ago!

"So wait a second, how old are you?"

"On my own I'm 83 but technically I'm two thousand, five hundred years three months two weeks-"

"I'm going to kill you."

But Futtota and Seiji were going away on business the next day, so we stayed the night in the hotel above the brothel. Well, brothel would be a nice word for it. It was really more like Seiji's whorehouse, and the admittance fees were pretty steep. I had to go down for a glass of water in the early morning and walked by quite a few of the rooms. This was how we met Jahiro. Did I mention that Seiji had no qualms whatsoever about renting his half-brother to the more raunchy homosexuals in the village, no matter what Jahiro-kun thought of the matter? That pretty much stopped after I walked in on what was happening and hurled the guy through the gardens and into the lake. After threatening to beat me within an inch of my life and then failing to do so, Seiji and his dad left. They left us alone in their extremely expensive palace. Most of us having grudges against them for some reason or another.

This should tell you exactly how intelligent the sexy Futtota is.

So after Seiji and the ever-so-sexy Futtota left, we raided the sake cellar. Well, emptied might be a better word in this situation. Did you know that Aiko gets really really drunk after about a cup and a half of sake? That was a fun evening.

Next day we looted everything of value. Vases, jewelery, kimonos, food. Aiko took care of most of the duck, meaning we didn't have any of it to take with us. Maku was off helping herself to all forms of noodles and Taikoubou was raiding the orchard. Reiki, meanwhile, was trying to tell them we'd need food for the road and for the love of Kami you can't use peanut sauce on duck you fool and hey get the hell away from those peaches or I'll use that ridiculous hat to suffocate you you bastard.

As for the looting, most of the servants had a grudge against the leaders too. One of the geisha, Kizuko, helped us out. I think both she and Aiko are kleptomaniacs.

"Oy! Servants!"

A few curious glances.

"Since Seiji is gone, his dear brother Jahiro here is in charge." Jahiro-chan held his head in his hands. "And Jahiro commands you do leave! Don't forget to ransack the place on your way out!"

Who says the mob has no mind?

So we skipped town like our asses were on fire. My only regret is that we didn't get to see Seiji's face when he got home. Along the way we met a spider demon named Ryugumo… What? You haven't heard about Ryu? Well, go ask Reiki. Tell me when you do, I want to see this.

Anyway, by the time we had hocked all the loot we had come to a little village with another hanyou named InuYasha. He looks a lot like Jahiro-chan. The next day, this super-smexy guy with long blue hair showed up in front of the hut we were all crammed into, yelling about abandoning Kulun and how sad Bukichi-kun was. Taikoubou chose that moment to go for a frolic in the woods and came back out an half an hour later with a face that clearly said 'Victory is mine!'. The village miko, Kagome, was kind of suspicious.

"Where's the other guy?"

"Pushed him into a well."

"WHAT?"

She told us the well was a portal to her time, five hundred years in our future. She was fairly calm until Taikoubou explained that the guy had been a high-ranking immortal.

"Well, did he come back out?"

"Um…"

That's when she really lost it.

So we all followed the smexy blue-haired guy, who I found out was called Youzen, into Kagome's time. Strangely enough, we happened to do so about half an hour after Seiji issued bounties for us. Eventually we found an abandoned building and got hired by Kuniko-sama. She opened it the next day and called it Koneko Kissaten. Kuri, who lives down the street, makes all of our decorations and uniforms. The uniforms aren't particularily revealing, but working in close proximity to a whorehouse where her best friend worked must have turned Aiko into a prude, because you should have seen the face she made when Kuri brought the uniforms down.

"You expect me to wear THAT ?"

"It's a modest tank top!"

"No way in the seven hells."

"Boatneck shirt?"

"Nope."

Eventually we dragged her into a closet and forced her into them, but she just wears t-shirts under them.

Then there's Megumi, the hired entertainment. I don't mean she's a stripper! She's a rising pop star. She kept lobbying for Kuniko to let her sing in the café in the winter and in the garden on the roof of our building in the summer. Luckily, there's already a stage set up in the main part of the restaurant, right next to the staircase to the upper levels and our room. Megumi-san is pretty fickle. She goes from boy to boy so quickly you'd think she was trying to set a record. Her reaction when she first met us as a group was really funny. I don't think she really believed us when we told her who we were. She went right up to Jahiro and went "So, you're a half-demon. How's that working out for you?"

And to add to our troubles there's actual customers, as well as Atsuko. But we'll go over that later, right now I want to see Reiki's face when we ask about Ryu!

)-(

**Author's notes:**

**Tori no Shiro** This literally translates as Castle of Birds.


	3. I'm not perverted! I'm not!

**Name:** Across the Sea (Version 2.0!)

**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R in later chapters

**Warning: ** Full series spoilers, OOCness, Rampant fancharacters, Shonen-ai and possible lemon in later chapters. Swearing, too! So much fun! Wait a sec… NO LEMON! But then again lemon pretty much follows Talis wherever she goes so… Implied lemon! There we go.

**Review replies:**

**DayDreamer: **Don't get me wrong, I love Nataku and Raishinshi. It's just that they make such good home décor!

**Reiki**

What? Ryu? Who told you about Ryu? Ugh, fine, I'll tell you.

I guess it started at the village we came to after we left Seiji's palace. Since it was in the mountains, there were a few hot springs just north of the village. Huge tourist attraction. But anyway, a few days after we arrived there, I decided to head up and check it out. Sadly enough I was not the only one it the pool. A girl, maybe about twenty? With really long hair that was really dark grey and about waist length. Kind of silvery. Her eyes were the same colour as her hair and she was looking at me. Not with contempt or fright, just looking. Then she goes "Out. Now." What was I supposed to do? Get into the springs with her? I ran back towards the inn we were staying at.

As fate would have it, the silver-haired girl worked at our inn. The next day she was the one who served us the food. She gave me a strange look and gave us the food, then bowed and left us to our meal. Unfortunately, Aiko noticed the confused way I was staring after her.

"Reiki…"

"Yeah?"

"What did you do?"

"….. Whatever do you mean?"

She whacked the back of my head with a board. I think there was a rusty nail in it.

That night I was walking back from finally getting my bath at the hot springs when I found the innkeeper beating the silver-haired girl. Again, what was I supposed to do, sit back and watch? I set his hair on fire (I'm part kitsune) and helped the poor girl up. "So what's your name?" I asked. I saw her left cheek for the first time as she turned to me. At first I thought it was scarred, but then I realized it was a spiderweb that came down from her ear to partway down her cheek it was either a tattoo or a demon marking, not that it mattered much.

"My name is Ryugumo. Call me Ryu. What about you?"

"Reiki." I grinned. I couldn't help it I guess. She gave me a cautious smile in return. The next day we left, with Ryu in tow.

One evening we were all sitting around the campfire watching as Jahiro and Talis cuddled in a corner. Noticing them, Ryu cocked her head. "Are they in love?" Sometimes I miss having someone so blunt around to just get everything into the open. "Well, they're both good-looking and their personalities match, so I don't see why not."

Suddenly she looked sad. "Is that what love is?" I was rather taken aback. Who wouldn't be? Then I burst out laughing. Being surrounded by subtle, catty bitches all my life, she was really a breath of fresh air. "You know what? I don't really know." That night she fell asleep on my shoulder.

"Hey, look! A castle! Maybe we can stay there tonight!" Aiko really was more upbeat since we had left Tori no Shiro. Maku shivered. "Better that than the ground. Why didn't we steal any blankets?" I laughed at her. "Too late now, Futtota and his son are probably back by now and I don't really want to go explain ourselves." Jahiro shuddered

It took us forever to get up the hill, but the view was wonderful. The entire valley was spread out before us. We all stood there for a moment, but when we turned around I noticed Ryu was gone. "Hey…" I started, but before I could finish the huge wooden door in front of us opened. The person who opened it had long silver hair.

"Nani?" went Taikoubou, looking around for some sort of back door. We all blinked as she bowed and invited us in.

"Konnichiwa. I am Ryu. Welcome to Sono Shi no Shiro."

"Ryu?" I said.

"Inviting name." Said Taikoubou. "Try saying it three times fast." She retreated into the darkness, motioning for us to follow her.

Once inside, we found ourselves in a large room with spiderwebs stretching from the ceiling to the floor. Maku undid the ribbon around her wrist and started playing with is nervously. "I like the décor." Taikoubou broke the silence. At the end of the hallway was a large chair, or, upon looking closer, a pile of bones in the shape of a chair. A tall, lean man was slouching in it.

"Kasasagi. Ryugumo. Restrain them." A small framed girl with shiny black hair came towards us, twirling chains that glinted in what little light there was. In seconds, we were all bound tightly by either chains, spiderwebs, or the ribbons that Kasasagi had taken off of Maku.

"… Nandayo!"

"Kukuku. Watashi wa Hyoga. Welcome to my castle. For dinner we'll be have you, you and you. The rest of you will rot in a cage until I'm hungry again." With each 'you' he pointed to one of us.

"Ryu!" I yelled. "Why are you doing this?" She leaned in close to me with sad eyes. "Because I love him."

"Talis, who hadn't heard us, started yelling at Hyoga. "I've heard of you! You prey on those who wander up here! I know why the village below was abandoned!" He laughed. "Well, aren't we feeling clever. May I just say, at the risk of sounding cliché, 'DUH'?'

"Ryu…" I said. "Don't do this. You know he's just using you. How long have you been letting this happen?" Her eyes softened. "Daisuki, Reiki-kun. But I have to. So does Kasasagi. He has power over her." At this point, Hyoga was leaning over Maku, freezing her feet to the ground. Ryu's eyes hardened as she looked at me, then she pulled a knife out of her yukata and pulled it back to throw it. I closed my eyes and flinched, but the blow never came. I cautiously opened my eyes again and saw Hyoga clutching his chest, a knife handle sticking out of it. Suddenly, Ryu yelled. "Get out of here, all of you! Kasasagi, take them to Taka pass!" Kasasagi nodded and snapped her fingers, causing all of our bindings to fall off of us,

When I look back on it, I guess they had been planning it for a while. Most of our group was already out the door, but I had hung back for a moment. Aiko turned from the door and yelled. "Reiki! Come on!" and dashed out. I turned back from looking at her and found Ryu's face close to mine. Very close.

"I lied earlier."

"Really?"

"I don't like you."

"Pity."

"I love you."

Suddenly her face was _very_ close to mine.

Once at the pass above the valley, we hung back for a minute to see what was going on. Ryu had stayed behind to kill Hyoga, but he was a powerful ice demon and she still hadn't come out so we feared the worst.

"Come on!" Yelled Kasasagi. "We have to get away from here!"

Maku turned to her. "But what about Ryu?"

Kasasagi gave her a sad look. "Haven't you figured it out? She's not going to come. We planned this from the beginning. She has a very powerful demonic power and she's going to-"

A bright white light radiated from the castle, and an explosion rocked the ground.

"- Do that." Kasasagi finished.

We turned and walked down the pass towards the next village.

)—(

**Ryu – A few minutes earlier**

Once they had left, I turned to Hyoga, who was now choking on his own blood.

"They weren't your real friends, you know." He managed to get out.

"More my friends than you had ever been. Images flashed through my mind. Images of Hyoga taking me in, so kind, but sometime a few years ago he had changed, become more violent and vicious. Images of Kasasagi and I being beaten numerous times for failing to bring him sacrifices.

Then, images of Reiki. Reiki and I, and what could have been. I bowed my head as I waited for them to be a safe distance from the castle, as Hyoga laughed. Then, when I deemed the time was right, I raised my head.

"Sayonora."

Then I knew no more.

)—(

**Authors notes:**

**Sono Shi no Shiro: **Means The Castle of Death.

**Daisuki: **It means 'I really like you' sort of just short of 'I love you.'

**Yukata**: It's like a summer kimono.

**Taka Pass**: Hawk Pass.


	4. Genius Douchebag

A/N) Oh MAN. That… That was horrible. I'd just like to apologize to the world for that last chapter. I can't write angst and I can't write fluff, so what did I think would come of angsty fluff? Ug. (bangs head against wall) Thatt was horrible.

I've had about half of this typed up for ever but I hated the last chapter so much I couldn't bring myself to finish it.

And while I'm angsting, I need to apologize to the original Ryu. What the hell did I do to your character? Ug.

**Maku **

Taka pass was just a short path through the mountains, brining us to a small village on the other side. We were greeted with a few airborne rocks.

"Get out! We don't want demons here!"

I stopped, alarmed. "Hey, look buddy." I pointed to my ears. "Human. HUMAN, see?" They ignored me and continued to chuck rocks at my head, shouting obscenities. Suddenly, a strangely dressed girl came over the hill, yelling at the villagers.

"One of your protectors is hanyou and you treat youkai like this? Scram! Get back to the village!" Her tiny green clothes rustled in the wind as she walked up to us. "Sorry about them. They're narrow-minded." She smiled warmly at us. "My name is Kagome, what's yours?"

After introductions she offered to put us up for the night in an abandoned house at the edge of town. Between the ridge and the house we met a hanyou named InuYasha. He didn't do a while lot except sit in a tree and stick his nose up at us. We all set up a cot of some sort and lay down. Except, of course, Aiko, who chose to sleep on the roof.

With dawn, though, came a blue-haired pretty-boy. Normal, everyday occurrence. Until he starts yelling at the top of his lungs and trying to kill our resident doushi. He had this big blue trident that he kept using to jab at Taikoubou. They ran around the village for a while, fruitless chase ongoing. Eventually Taikoubou led him into the woods. We all kind of sat around waiting until he emerged a half hour later, grinning like mad. Kagome approached cautiously.

"Um, where'd the other dude go?"

"Youzen? He fell down a well." Taikoubou's grin widened.

Kagome froze, her eyes growing huge. "He WHAT?"

Kasasagi blinked. "What's the problem? It's just a well."

Kagome fumed. "That well is a portal to my world! YOUR future! The Youzen is now walking around modern Tokyo! Did you see his clothes? He'll stick out like a sore thumb. What the HELL was up with that ZIPPER?"

"Calm down!" Said Taikoubou, Reiki and Talis in unison. Aiko offered the next suggestion. "We'll go look for him, okay?"

"Like hell you will!" Said the young miko vehemently. "You guys'll just get run over or high on soda!"

I spoke up quickly, cutting her off from going on at length about the many horrible deaths that awaited us. "Then come with us. Just show us the way around while we look for him, okay?"

The look on her face clearly showed her thoughts. 'Deep breaths Kagome, deep breaths…' "Okay. Fine, let's go to the well."

After we had all taken the plunge, we climbed one by one out of the well in the future. We looked around and, deciding not to wait for the miko to follow, set out north-east. What we didn't know was that she and the hanyou had gotten into a fight, and she would not be joining us for quite a while. For the meantime, we forgot about her completely and had no qualms wandering around Chibuya.

We pretty much walked in a straight line until we came to the southern edge of Ueno Park. By that time it was about two in the morning, so we kind of pulled a breaking and entering. Nothing big, just an abandoned building. Aiko and Reiki pulled down the boards on the north-facing windows, right on the edge of the park.

I went up the staircase first, musty smell of spiderwebs. I'm not claustrophobic, but even I was a bit antsy in this place. We finally got to the third floor, which had an old western style bed and three futons on the floor. Talis dragged Jahiro into bed, but thankfully it remained chaste, so we didn't have to block out ears. She did, however, in the middle of the night mutter "Ah! Racecars!" Then, later: "Ooooh, racecar…."

I woke up the next morning staring at a pair of dark blue shoes. Blinking twice, I looked up and was starting to a see young woman, no older than thirty, glaring at me.

"Excuse me," She said. "This isn't a hotel."

All around me the others were waking up to various degrees.

Kasasagi grinned sheepishly. "Sorry," she muttered. "We thought it was abandoned."

The woman rubbed her temples. "Well, it's not. Now pay the rent or leave." We all shuffled out single file, looking guilty. Reiki mumbled as we left. "Unless we could work it off, but all I can do is cook."

The woman paused. "You can cook?" Reiki looked mildly bewildered. "Uh, yeah." The woman ran a hand through her magenta hair. "Okay, if you cook, I'll hire you on as a chef. The rest of you can waitress or clean. Or something. I'll even pay you a bit, but I'll take out a bit for renting the top floor out to you. Deal?"

We all looked at each other, then simultaneously nodded vigorously.

And that was how Reiki came to don the apron for the good of the team. Not that it was a huge sacrifice on his part. A few days later, as he served us all at the table, he put on a pained expression as we guzzled down his food. "Do you have to eat so fast?" Aiko pulled her face out of the rice for long enough to respond. "Food is sustenance. Not an event." Then shoved her face back in. Reiki spent the rest of the evening sobbing in a corner.

A few days later, Youzen showed up on our doorstep, looking like he had had a rough few days. His hair was frizzy and sticking out everywhere, and he had bruises all over his face. He was leaning on his big tridenty thingy. After trying to strangle Taikoubou, he dusted himself off and introduced himself to Kuniko, aiming to be employed too.

"Greetings. I am Youzen. Though you may have heard of me as…" He paused dramatically. "As the Genius Doushi."

Kuniko looked bewildered. "The Genius Douche? Is that a nickname you really want?"

Youzen facefaulted.

Mealtimes are always lots of fun. Youzen tends to use his big tridenty thing - Sans tes toes? – To help himself to food across the table. When he made the mistake of making for the duck in front of Aiko, she grabbed it and whacked his head repeatedly. Next time he tried it with his hand, which got really long and all spindly.

He had the teeth marks in his hand for a week.

I, of course, have learned for other's mistakes. When I want duck, I untie a ribbon from my hair and use it like a whip to get it.

Then, I run like _hell._

((Chibuya)) The main part of Tokyo (Um, according to my 1988 guide... sweatdrop)

((Ueno Park)) A large park with temples and shrines and stuff in the North-easternly (ish) region of Tokyo. (see above..)

((Genius Douche)) In French it means shower, but…. There's, ya know, another meaning… I guess it's better than the genius enema. ((Sorry, I HAD to use that! Thanks to Mearl, all of us have started calling Youzi-chan the Genius Douchebag. And Emra uses DOUCHE as a sound effect for everything.))

((Sans tes toes)) The first two words translate as 'Without your' in French, and the last word is…. Toes. In English. Did I really have to say it?


	5. Emo zombies

(A/N) Nothing to say now, maybe there will be after I write this.

((Finished)) I loved writing this chapter. Writing the way people talk online can be a pain, but it's fun. Especially the L33T5P34K. Oh, and Atsuko's views on l33tness and stuff? Not mine. Don't assume because a character feels a certain way, I do.

**Atsuko**

Gin is my partner for most things. School things anyway. And in groups of three, Yukiko joins in. We are the same in that we are all part of the very small percentage of school population that is shunned by Haruko. Sadly, I have to live with her. Haruko is my twin sister, even if we look nothing alike. She controls most of the student body, either with charisma or bullying. I'm unaffected because I've lived with her my whole life, and Gin… Well, Gin has headphones.

He's a DJ. No, really. He DJs for small places, so when a new café opens he's the first to know. It was no different for the Koneko Kissaten.

"Hey!" Called Gin as he walked into the classroom. The three of us like to get there early in the morning. It gives us some time to talk to each other without Haruko's stooges hanging over us. "There's a new place down by Ueno Park. We should go there to work on our Mythology project." Yukiko looked up from the fic she was reading on her laptop. "What, the one on the differences between Chinese and Japanese mythology?" Gin nodded. "We can go, try the food, plug in the laptops and research the Chinese stuff. Try the food."

Yukiko sighed. "Okay, we'll go after school today."

After school the three of us walked over to the new Kissaten. Outside the doors was a little girl, not much older than seven, maybe eight. She had bright red hair and orange bunny ears. She smiled up at us and handed us a pamphlet.

Yukiko set her laptop on the table and plugged it into the wall, talking quietly to herself. A short dude with a weird pointy hat walked over, wearing a bright green apron. His nametag said Taikoubou, but somebody had scratched it out and written FICUS FOR BRAINS! "How can I- WHOA! YUUKYOU-SAN!" The green-eyed kid looked at Yukiko, shocked.

"Um, sorry, my name is Yukiko, not Yuukyou." The kid was still staring at her with wide eyes. "S… Sorry, mistook you for someone…" He shook his head and brightened up. "Anyways! What can I get you people?" Gin looked up from the cheap paper menu. "I'll have one order of Oyaku Don please." Gin looked at me. I scanned the menu quickly. "Yeah, one for me too, please." Yukiko looked at the two of us and shook her head. "Fried rice and a bubble tea for me, thanks." Ficus for brains stuck his head in a door near the main entrance, presumably leading to the kitchen. "OY! REIKI-SAN! TWO OYAKU DON, ONE FRIED RICE AND A BUBBLE TEA!" A large metal spoon went whizzing by his head. He grinned and yelled "Love you too!" before going to get the orders of another customer.

Gin, Yukiko and I sat and chatted quietly about the Mythology project. We were just moving on from Kirin and starting to delve into Sendou when the green-eyed kid with the ugly hat came back with our food. Digging into her rice, Yukiko started to explain the difference between youkai and youkai sennin. Projects are easy when your best friend is a mythology buff.

"Youkai sennin are animals or objects that take human form after absorbing the chi of sunlight and moonlight. Youkai first originated from youkai sennin of the same animal species breeding when in semi-human form. Pure youkai have no animal or object affiliation, they simply _are_. They're like sendou, but… Not. And sendou are just humans that achieved a higher level of being both physically and mentally through study."

Listening to us as he put our food down, the Ficus-for-brains laughed at this. "Study? Who did any studying? I never-"

At this, a girl with long black hair and dark grey, pointy ears hit him over the head with a chair and dragged his unconscious form away, whistling what sounded like a DDR song. Another girl, this one with very short brown hair and a silver ribbon tied in it, bowed and said "We apologize. We are experiencing technical difficulties." I stared at the girl who was dragging Ficus for Brains away. She had a dark grey tail that matched the ears, and…

It was moving back and forth. On it's own. No wind, nothing.

"Um…" I started. "Why does she have ears and a tail?" The short haired girl (I looked closely at the nametag; it said Maku in square, purple letters.) looked over her shoulder and smiled sheepishly. "Uh… Gimme a minute… Cosplaying freak?" She offered, grinning. Then she went after them, presumably to help revive poor Ficus for Brains.

…………………….

The scene was familiar. My room, dark except for the blue-white illumination of my computer screen.

Ah, trolling the forums. Is there any pastime more enjoyable? Gather information, teasing Noobs, laughing hysterically at the people who write it as N003Z…

Tonight, though, I was looking for data. Three windows up. Google, ICQ, and Gaia. Hey, who better to help me with something out of an anime than pathetic otakus?

………………….

http/ keyword: Sendou

enter

Search results:

The list was short. I muttered to myself. Nothing but fansites. Time to check ICQ. I opened the window and looked at the stream of the conversation.

**PIUeda36**: Can anybody give me info on Sendou or Youkai?

**Pimpin princess**: Um, r u anoder anime freek?

**Quaker999**: J0, D4T5 54D, M4N. 4LL D4 CH1X0R5 1NT0 D4 4N1M3…

**PIUeda36**: My good sir, are you aware that your name implies that you are Amish?

**Quaker999**: …J0, WH4T?

**PIUeda36**: I thought so.

**PercytheVampire** has logged in!

**Quaker999**: H3Y, S4Y D4T T0 M4H F4C3!

**PIUeda36**: I cannot. I am communicating to you via written comments. Perhaps if you posess a webcam?

**Pimpin princess**: ur lik such a ho.

**PIUeda36**: Well, my condescending tone annoys you, and your total disdain for written grammar disgusts me. I'd say we're even.

**Hisoka05**: has logged in!

**Hisoka05**: woah, i read the convo. whyre you all tearing each other to bits?

**Quaker999**: D00D, 5H3 C4LL3D M3 4M15H! W4T D4 H3LL 15 4M15H?

**ARIdrinkwine** has logged in!

**PIUeda36**: It means you have no technology available to you and most like likely live on a farm. Since you are most obviously using a computer right now, your name is somewhat of a contradiction.

**Quaker999**: L1K3, D00D, 4H JU5T L1K3 QU4K3. QU4K3 0WN20R!

**Kitsurei **has logged in!

**ARIdrinkwine**: Dude where's my goat! XD!

**Kitsurei**: Next to the soft, unripened cheese. XD

**Pimpin princess**: lik, wtf

**Hisoka05**: -.-;;

**PercytheVampire**: I want shares in that goat!

**Quaker999**: L1K3, D00D, J00 MU5T B3 DRUNK.

**PIUeda36**: Why must you capitalize everything?

**Quaker999**: D4 L33T, 1T R34D5 B3TT3R, J0.

**PercytheVampire**: stop tryin to be largo, wannabe.

**Kitsurei**: Largo-sensei teaches us how to properly dispatch the undead with kitchen appliances.

**PercytheVampire**: Yeah, I bet you can't do that.

**ARIdrinkwine**: OO ZOMBIES!

**PercytheVampire**: Emo zombies!

**Kitsurei**: EMOaaaaaan!

**Hisoka05**: what was the point of this convo?

**PercytheVampire**: makin fun of peeps

**ARIdrinkwine**: GOOOOOAAAAT! And peeps? WTF?

**Quaker999**: P1CK UP D4 CH1X0R, M4N!

**Pimpin princess**: lik, a/s/l?

**PIUeda36**: Well, this has been about as useful as, oh, I don't know, a dead duck on… Oh, for kami's sake, make up your own paradox.

**Quaker999**: D00D, W4TS 4 P4R4D0X?

**PIUeda36** has logged out!

I shook my head. I'd think about the pathetic downward spiral of our society later, Now I wanted to find somebody who could tell me about sendou. So, I opened the Gaia window. Clicking on the Chatterbox button, then the Create New Thread button. Since Gaia is a forum, not a chat room, it took a few minutes for people to respond.

**_DetectiveUeda says_**:

Hello, I'm looking for somebody to give me information on Chinese mythology, notably Sendou, youkai and youkai sendou. If you know anything please post.

**_WindyAngel says_**:

Sure. Sennin are immortals, youkai are demons originating from youkai sennin, and youkai sennin are animals that absorb the positive energy of astral light to take human forms. According to myth, the sennin world was made up of Kunlun Shan with sendou, and Kingou Rettou with youkai sennin. Youkai had no real loyalties. In Kunlun there was a social structure based on power and responsibility. Doushi were still in training, sennin were more powerful and trained doushi, and at the top were the Juunisen and Genshitenson, the leader and his council. Kingou had a similar system. Since all of these entities are immortal, they might still be around. Never know.

**_Wannabejedi says_**:

Yeah, those immortals, you know? Still around probably. They walk among us!

**_Yeraloser says_**:

lik r u stupid why r u askin this stuff

**_ThePhantomBitch says_**:

DetectiveUeda, if you need help with your homework go to a freakin library. Reading? Remember that? Godammit you people piss me off.

**_DetectiveUeda says_**:

Actually, this is pure curiosity, and I don't know where you live but where I am it's eleven o'clock. My friend knows practically everything about mythology and even she can't tell me if the name Taikoubou is a reference to something.

**_WindyAngel_**:

Did you say Taikoubou?

**_DetectiveUeda_**:

Yes.

**_WindyAngel says_**:

That's easy. Taikoubou was an advisor to a Zhou emperor, in the late eleventh century.

**_DetectiveUeda says_**:

_Eleventh century?_

**_Wannabejedi says_**:

Watch it, Windy!

**_WindyAngel says_**:

What harm can it be? Anyways, that's only according to _history_. According to legend, he was a doushi. He and the rest of the sennin world brought down the In empire and help install the Zhou. Well, that's the widely accepted version. Another says the more important thing that they did was rid the world of the Guidepost of History, a goddess who controlled destiny and had already destroyed many 'rough' drafts of the world.

**_DetectiveUeda says_**:

_Eleventh century?_

**_Wannabejedi says_**:

B.C.

**_DetectiveUeda says_**:

Is it… Common for people to name their kids Taikoubou?

**_WindyAngel says_**:

No. I do not believe anyone names their children Taikoubou.

**_Yeraloser says_**:

i cant stand u ppl

**_Wannabejedi says_**:

Nobody said you had to like us.

**_WindyAngel says_**:

Why do you want to know?

**_DetectiveUeda says_**:

I found somebody with that name and he said something strange when my friend was talking about Sendou.

**_WindyAngel says_**:

…… What did he look like?

**_DetectiveUeda says_**:

Green eyes, messy black hair, stupid hat. Why?

**_Wannabejedi says_**:

Oh god…

**_WindyAngel says_**:

Would you please tell me where he is located?

**_DetectiveUeda says_**:

Japan, in a café near Ueno Park. Uh, why?

**_WindyAngel_**:

Thank you. I'll be logging off then.

**_DetectiveUeda_**:

Uuuuuuum…..

……………………..

I leaned back in my chair, stretching. Eleventh century BC?

That was one old waiter.

((Chi)) Energy.

((Cosplay)) Oh, come on. Don't tell me you don't know this one.

((Gaia forums)) I'm never on anymore, but hey, I thought it'd be fun to stick that in here. XP

Rei's handy-dandy translate-o-matic from l33t to human!

J0, D4T5 54D, M4N. 4LL D4 CH1X0R5 1NT0 D4 4N1M3… - Ah, I am morose good chums, all of the fine women, interested only in animation from the land of the rising sun…

…J0, WH4T? - I'm sorry, I did not quite understand your last statement.

H3Y, S4Y D4T T0 M4H F4C3! - Please, drop all subtleties good friend, and repeat that quite clearly.

D00D, 5H3 C4LL3D M3 4M15H! W4T D4 H3LL 15 4M15H? - New acquaintance, the kind woman I am conversing with referred to me as Amish. Would you happen to know what this means, as I currently do not?

L1K3, D00D, 4H JU5T L1K3 QU4K3. QU4K3 0WN20R! - My friend, I like the video game known to many as Quake. It is a wonderful game.

L1K3, D00D, J00 MU5T B3 DRUNK. - My friend, I do believe you have ingested vast quantities of alcohol.

D4 L33T, 1T R34D5 B3TT3R, J0. - The language in which I speak to you reads with far more ease this way.

P1CK UP D4 CH1X0R, M4N! - I wish to converse with and possibly woo women!

D00D, W4TS 4 P4R4D0X? - I apologize for my ignorance, but I do not happen to know the term paradox. Would you be so kind as to explain it to me right now?

GASP! Who are Windy and Jedi? Do they know each other? What is their connection? How do they know about Taikoubou? What does Atsuko plan to do? Will Percy ever get her shares in the goat?

The answers to these and more, next time on Koneko Kissaten!

(points downward on webpage) Now review, tomodachi!


	6. Where the Magic Happens

(A/N) Well, another chapter up. Kasasagi gets a personality, Maku explains her origins, and we finally get to see the Where the Magic Happens board! There's the implied lemon I was telling you about, JJ!

**Kasasagi**

The first thing I noticed about her when she walked in was that she was gorgeous. Long, flowing hair that fell mostly down her back, but had two parts hanging from behind her ears and down her chest, looking so soft and smooth that I found it hard not to grab it. Okay, so it was purple, but who doesn't dye their hair these days? Perfect curves, large blue eyes from behind square glasses propped low on her nose. Her shirt had the infinity symbol followed by a question mark. Not too sure what that meant, but boy was she beautiful.

Reiki tapped my shoulder and muttered quietly. "Kasasagi, you okay?" That snapped me out of my reverie. I shook my head vigorously and grinned at him. "Yeah, fine."

She walked purposefully from the doorway towards Taikoubou, glaring down at him thoughtfully. Since she was at least half a head taller than him, it wasn't hard for her. He blinked up at her, confused. "Uh, can I help you?' She cocked an eyebrow at him suspiciously. "No, it's just that I would expect Taigong-wang, destroyer of Chinese dynasties, to be taller than 5"2."

Taikoubou twitched and looked down. "…Shut up." Talis popped up behind him and smirked. "He's 5"3, biatch." Youzen joined in and started whining. "I helped with the dynasties too!"

I took the opportunity to walk over. "Hi. I'm Kasasagi. Can I take you to bed and make sweet love to you?"

This prompted everyone to go quiet and look at me, with expressions ranging from shock to wonder to 'holy crap that was forward'.

Reiki took the opportunity to join in as well. "Only if I can watch." Sadly, he was dragged away by a red-faced Maku, most likely to be beaten into a bloody pulp and left for dead.

Tal spoke next after that. "Wait… You're… Huh?"

Jahiro had been standing nearby, silent until now. "What my mate is attempting to say and failing pitifully at is; 'You're lesbian?'"

It was my turn to look at them in shock. "What, did you think I hung out with Ryu because of her stunning personality?"

Everybody looked at each other like 'She has a point'.

The purple-haired beauty was still staring at me, mouth agape, when Aiko came down the stairs, yelling something about Tal's headboard and how she was going to burn it.

"TAL! What the HELL! Where the Magic Happens? Couldn't you be more original? SEXCAPADES? Are you INSANE or just a whore?"

Talis grinned maniacally. "Both, Aiko-chan!"

Another girl with short, flippy brown hair walked in the door, accompanied by a silver-haired boy with headphones around his neck. She was wearing a yellow dress that flared out after her waist and had an owl on the chest. Little flowers were sprinkled in her hair, and her shoes were tall yellow lace up boots. Her companion was just wearing jeans and a shirt, and had a bag slung over his shoulder. The girl grinned and waved at my purple haired love, despite the fact that she was facing towards us and unable to see the girl. "Hey, Atsuko! You're early again!" Jahiro smiled calmly and greeted the two newcomers. "Ah, our first customers of the day." The girl looked at her watch and grimaced. "That's not a good sign. Think we should go, Gin?" The boy looked at her with heavy lidded eyes. "It's just cause it's new, Yukiko."

Atsuko still had not moved. I sighed. "I guess that's a no. Ah well."

Gin raised an eyebrow and peered at her through his bangs. "A no to what?"

Yukiko jumped up and down. "I bet she asked you on a date! Oooooh, word gets around fast! I still think your sister's a bitch, though."

At this, Atsuko finally moved. Whirled, to be precise. Turning on the girl behind her, she exploded as her face coloured. "This has nothing to do with that! She's a demon from the fifteenth century! They all are! I bet it's a job requirement here!"

Once again, it was Tal who broke the silence first. "Sixteenth century, actually."

Maku, who had just come back into the main room from the kitchen, decided to join the conversation once more. "And I'm human. Or mostly, anyway." Aiko looked curiously at her. "What's the part other than the mostly?" Maku grinned, her eyes closed and she gave a peace sign. "I was gonna be a doushi, but I ran off with a paopei before I could actually learn anything of value."

Taikoubou looked vaguely surprised. "What paopei do you have?" Maku grinned again and pointed to the silver ribbon on her head, earning a sweatdrop from the rest of the group. Maku turned to Aiko. "What were you yelling about earlier? I heard you from outside."

Aiko twitched. "Know how Kuniko is kicking us out of the second floor to make more restaurant space? Well, we're moving in with Tal on the third floor, and she has an old Western-style bed, which had a headboard and… Kami, I have to show you." With that, the black-haired hybrid grabbed Maku and Jahiro, who were in turn followed by the rest of the group upstairs.

And Aiko was right, you really did have to see it.

**WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS**

_-The marvelous sexcapades of the Sex Queen.-_

Jahiro xxx

Seiji x

Reiki

Taikoubou

Youzen

Seiko x

(Youzen is the Genius Douche!)

Everybody stared. Youzen ventured a question, ignoring the douche comment. "What do the names represent?" Talis smiled. "Those are the guys I wanna screw!"

Jahiro winced at how public this was. "And the x's?" More grinning from Tal. "One for every time!' Taikoubou twitched. "Why is my name there?" Talis grinned even wider. "Oh, don't worry, that's just there to piss off Aiko. And I guess you're pretty cute, too."

A snarl was heard as Aiko lunged for Tal's throat.

Jahiro managed to hold her back as he asked "So, where are we gonna stay?" Maku was rummaging through the closet of the large, one-room (or so) flat. "There's futons in here, we can spread them out by the couch. I don't think anybody wants to use that bed anymore." A shudder passed through the group.

I raised my hand dutifully. "Don't put one out for me, I'm sleeping on the roof." Youzen blinked and stared at me. "On what?" I stared right back. "Hello? I'm a magpie demon. I'm gonna sleep in a tree. There are a few potted ones up there, maybe I'll string a hammock up."

Breathing heavily and covered in bruises, Reiki finally joined us. "What's going on?"

Maku smiled and pointed at him. "You're gonna make us some peanut balls!"

Blinking Reiki paused for a long moment, then ran into the flat's kitchen. "Whoohoo! Cooking!"


	7. Beware the Magical Kappas

(A/N) Yes, more on the updating spree! Sorry about the pointlessness of the last chapter, now we can move on to one of the sub-plots. And for those of you who wonder, the Kasasagi/Ryu bit earlier was one-sided. Ryu is straight. Not smart, but straight.

**Gin**

Sure, everybody knows who Hideyuki is. At my high school, he's practically famous. Trademark tea cigarettes, shoulder-length blond hair, hazel eyes, hooky-strewn school record, vaguely feminine look. Hard to miss, that's what he is. Despite this, I never paid him much attention. He was just another person in the long lineup of people that thought they were (are) better than me. In other words, nothing special.

There are basically three groups of people in Shiristu Daitou High. The pseudo exclusive pack lead by Hideyuki, the army of schoolgirls ruled by Mitsuko, Atsuko's sister. And lastly, the rejects who form their own little cliques on the margins. Even among these there is a hierarchy, and Yukiko, Atsuko and I were and will probably always be at the bottom. While this may have bothered many people, we always felt it kind of suited us. The history/mythology buff, the internet troller, and the wannabe DJ. All of these descriptions are, unfortunately, synonymous with 'nerd'.

Possibly the worst day for our little gang was when Atsuko and her sister got into a huge argument in the cafeteria. Mitsuko was standing over Atsu-chan, gloating about how her older sibling's life was going nowhere. Atsuko responded simply with "Shut the fuck up." And went on eating. Mitsuko got really steamed and it escalading surprisingly quickly. After a few minutes, her shorter-haired sister climbed onto the table in front of Atsuko and smiled down grimly. "Hey, everybody! Guess what? My Onee-chan is bisexual and our parents don't know!"

While she hadn't exactly been liked beforehand, Atsuko suddenly became the focus of quite a bit of hatred in Shiritsu Daitou. Mitsuko's gang isn't exactly known for it's open-mindedness, and it happens to comprise of about eighty percent of the student body (female members and by extension their boyfriends). Possibly the only group that didn't leave hate-mail in her locker was Hideyuki's group. Later on, we realized why.

Hideyuki's bi. Most of the people in his little pack know it, but those in Mitsuko's don't, so the two groups maintain a mutual friendship.

Actually, the way that I found this out was the strangest part.

Did I mention I'm gay?

)-(

I was walking out of school quickly, about a few weeks after Mitsuko's little announcement. I was on my way to our new hangout, some place called the Koneko Kissaten. It wasn't very busy as of yet, but it had only been open a few weeks and only had word of mouth to go on. Besides, the food's damn good.

On my way out the door, noticed Hideyuki and a few girls hanging out a few yards away. Even as I watched, I saw a few boys exit the building behind me and join them. Hunching my shoulders and turning away, I heard one of the girls talking as the smell of cigarette smoke drifted over to me. "Really, Deyu-kun? That's pretty hot. You still go for girls though, right?" I could practically hear him flashing them a grin. "Of course, Nana-chan." I could hear her cooing loudly and shuddered. "Hey, Deyu-sempai, my turn for a dare. Um… Hey, how about asking that kid on a date?" I smiled, knowing they weren't talking about me and wishing I could stay and watch.

"Hey, headphones boy, wanna get some tea?"

I stared at him. Hideyuki, king of the school? Asking me on a date for a dare? They probably expected me to recoil in homophobic horror, and they would laugh about it later.

Wrong.

"Uh, sorry, even MY standards aren't that low."

I turned away quickly and pulled the aforementioned headphones over my ears. But not before I could hear the "WHAT?"

"Sugoi, Deyu-kun, I can't believe he turned you down!"

"Yeah, ingrate!"

"Hah! That was priceless!"

Smack.

"Boy, what was his problem?"

"Don't worry, Deyu-kun, I'll go out with you!"

)-(

A few minutes later found me sitting with Yukiko and Atsuko in the Kissaten. The gold-haired fox demon named Talis walked by, dropping our food off on the way.She paused and stared at me for a second, then mumbled out loud. "I didn't really noticed before, but you look really familiar…" She shrugged. "Oh well. Don't forget to tip generously!" Aiko, the hybrid demon, followed closely behind, staring after her. "Please ignore her… Except about the tipping." She had shifty eyes for a moment, then chased after her kitsune friend. I couldn't help but notice a new customer enter the building. I wasn't like there were a whole lot of them. Groaning, I slumped and let my head fall into my hands. It was Hideyuki, peering in the room from the doorway. "Wow…" He muttered. "I didn't even know this place existed!" The green-eyed guy that Atsuko had identified as a three thousand year old immortal from China walked by, carrying a tray. "It doesn't! It's all in your head!" Talis looked at him sideways. "Koubou-hobo! Stop scaring the customers!" He responded with a "Look who's talking!"

I turned back to Yukiko, pretending I hadn't seen the blond at the door. "So, what are we working on today?" Atsuko decided to join us. "We still haven't finished our mythology project…" She eyed the demons surrounding us suspiciously, getting a laugh out of Yukiko. "Atsu-chan, I don't think that our teachers would believe us if we said that we interviewed a demon."

I watched as Hideyuki stared around apprehensively. "Um, hello?" Then muttering. "The service is crap here." Aiko walked up to him and stuck her face in his. "HELLO? HOW MAY I HELP YOU, SIR?" Talis snickered in the backround. Hideyuki cautiously unplugged his ears. "Loud…"

"Sit." Aiko pointed to a table that was a little too near to me for comfort. "There." Knowing what was good for him, 'Deyu-kun' sat down. "Magical kappas will dance out of the kitchen and bring you a menu."

Talis blinked. "Uh, sorry Aiko, we're fresh out of magical kappas…"

Hideyuki was not impressed. "What a freak show." He mumbled.

Tal was soon disproved, as the small rabbit demon that Yukiko had taken a liking to danced out of the kitchen, wearing what appeared to be a kappa suit. Talis twitched. "Dear god." and Hideyuki stood up and started inching towards the door, only to be find his escape route blocked by Aiko. The grey furred demon growled. "No way, solid-boy. You come in, you buy something." Hideyuki raised an eyebrow. "Solid-boy? Is that the best you can do?" He was rewarded with a grin as he and Aiko got into an insult match.

"Golden snitch!"

"Striped dorkus!"

"Prude. She's a prude too." Talis had joined in, surprised that she and the other gold haired creature in the building thought so similarly.

"You stay out of this!"

"Oxymoronish kitsune!"

"… The hell?"

Tal joined in again. "Kitsunes sleep around, hello? Pfft. Prude."

"Shut up!"

"Flat-chested midget!"

Aiko snarled and made a leap for his neck, but luckily Tal stepped in at the last second. "No, bad Aiko, no killing the customers!" Aiko wandered off, sulking.

A few minutes later, she came back, staring at the two gold-haired people in front of her. After a long, uncomfortable pause, she exclaimed "Ha! I figured it out! You-" she pointed to Hideyuki "-Look exactly like YOU!" She pointed to Tal. Talis raised an eyebrow in response. "Pardon? No way. Number one, I'm a babe. Number two… Hey! You _are_ pretty good looking!" Hideyuki looked smug while Aiko looked disgusted. The green eyed youkai walked off mumbling. "You've got it wrong, it's because you're both ugly."

"You work here, do you not?" Hideyuki asked Tal. "Um, yeah?" "Bring me plum and ginseng tea and three onigiri.." "Um, plum and ginseng don't mix, but okay." A few minutes later, a mahogany haired hybrid demon set a try on the counter with a clatter. "ONE TEA AND TWO ONIGIRI!" Hideyuki blinked. "Um, I ordered three onigiri." A few seconds later, an onigiri came hurtling towards his head from the kitchen. Hideyuki caught it and cocked an eyebrow. "I was never a fan of fast food." Tal snickered and grabbed the tray, then lead him to his seat. Aiko had tuned in just in time to hear the fast food crack and winced. "You're going to pun hell for that."

As if noticing me for the first time, Hideyuki walked over. "Whoa, eye candy at two o'clock…" Yukiko muttered. Atsuko twitched and mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'school project'. I gave her a sidelong glance and said "Yukiko, could you reach over and pull that curtain rod out of Atsuko's ass?" earning myself another twitch. I heard muffled laughter behind me and whirled around. "Ha! Gotcha! What are you doing here?"

Hideyuki blinked. "Um, stalking you? What does it look like?"

"Curtain rod. How long did it take you to think of that one, Gin?"

Ignoring Atsuko, Hideyuki continued. "I want you to accept my proposal."

Atsuko looked up. "What proposal?"

He smirked. The bastard _smirked._ "My offer for a date."

Yukiko stared at him, then me, bug-eyed. "You turned down _that?_" I held my head in my hands. "YES. Yes I did."

)-(

I entered the Kissaten to be greeted with a familiar sight. The sight that had greeted me for almost two weeks. Atsuko and Yukiko were sitting together at a table with a spare seat for me, and Hideyuki was at the table next to them with his chair turned around, chatting amiably.

I walked over and sat down, hoping against hope that he wouldn't ask today.

No such luck.

"Hey, ready to date me yet?"

I exploded. "_NO_! I am not ready for a date with you, nor will I ever be! Get it through your skull, I am _not_ interested!" He pouted at me. "Come on, All I want is one date! If you still hate my guts afterwards, you don't ever have to talk to me again." I eyed him suspiciously. "And you'll stop coming here?" "Ha, are you kidding? The food here rocks!" A distant 'YEAH!' was heard from the kitchen, followed by a bang and a yelp. I held my head in my hands, dejected. "Fine, if it'll get you to stop asking, then fine."

He grinned. "Great! Although, you know this was gonna be the last time I asked… Guess I'm just lucky you caved today!"

The look I gave him would have had a lesser man bursting into tears.

Eh, sorry for all the dialogue in this chapter. But it's extra long, so there. sticks tongue out Now review or die! Mmmmm, death. DEAR GOD, SPICES!


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